China, IL: The Funeral

"China, IL: The Funeral"
Titlecard.
Directed by	Brad Neely
Written by	Brad Neely, Michael Crow
Original air date	May 25, 2008
Starring	Baby Cakes Deceased Professor Frank Steve
Next	Unaired Pilot

"China, IL: The Funeral", alternatively titled "The Funeral", is one of two pilot episodes of China, IL.

Summary

The diary of a professor who recently died reveals her repressed feelings.

Plot

Part 1: "Romeo + Romeo"

Baby Cakes discovers the diary of a professor who recently died. Reading through it, Baby Cakes finds that this professor disliked everyone and she was in a relationship with Frank Smith, whom she secretly could not tolerate. Unfortunately for her, she died before she could make her feelings known to Frank.

A news article regarding the professor's death.

Part 2: "Lives After Death"

As news about the professor's death circulates, Steve Smith feels the need to tell Frank his girlfriend died. Upon hearing the news, Frank becomes heartbroken, but remains unaware of his girlfriend's true feelings about their relationship.

Part 3

Plans for the professor's funeral begin, and subsequently, the event takes place. During the funeral's reception, Frank gives his eulogy, still upset over his lover's death. As Frank breaks down in tears, Baby Cakes hands him his girlfriend's diary, and Frank sees her repressed thoughts. Baby Cakes tells the others that the professor never liked them either, and Frank leaves the room in a huff.

The diary entry that enrages Frank.

Part 4

Baby Cakes finds Frank naked and huddling against his girlfriend's casket. Drawing near to Frank, Baby Cakes consoles him, telling him that if his girlfriend ever "sexed [him]," she did like him to an extent. Continuing, Baby Cakes suggests that Frank just needs to move on and find another woman to love.

Trivia

• On May 5, 2008, Super Deluxe began airing this episode one part per week, the entire set broadcast as an eleven-minute episode on May 25, 2008.
• Parts 3 and 4 lack titles.
• Because this is a pilot episode, the art style is vastly different from the official series.
• This is the only episode to have a TV-MA rating as the series itself is rated TV-14.
• In the theme song, the sign in front of the school reads Community College of China Illinois. Additionally, this episode is labeled as Episode One, rather than a pilot episode.
• In Baby Cakes' yearbook, one of the students is named Crystal Peppers, who bears little, if any, resemblance to Professor Crystal Peppers.
• Here, Crystal Peppers bears a far different appearance from her later appearances.
• In the first segment, Steve Smith reads a restaurant menu upside-down.
• In the first and final parts, Baby Cakes admits having feelings for the dead professor.

Goofs

• In the first and third shots of the inside of Baby Cakes' yearbook, no names appear under the pictures, but in the second and fourth shots, the names appear.
• At around three minutes and three seconds into the first segment, an action figure appears on Baby Cakes' dresser for a split second before vanishing again.

Quotes

Baby Cakes: She called all the professors pee-pee kissers and the students doo-doo brains.

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Baby Cakes: ♪Boom, boom, yeah.♪
♪She liked the animals.♪
♪Got so much in common,♪
♪Except that I'm a person still.♪

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Steve: He's going to go into a frenzied cry-gasm.

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Steve: Stand down—or back.

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Frank: [About his girlfriend's death] If you are what you eat, then I am her—and those worms out there? Ditto.

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[After reading the deceased professor's diary, Frank becomes enraged.]

Baby Cakes: Oh, no. Undo, undo.

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Steve: Yup, he's the prick of the litter.

Baby Cakes: No, I'm a prick of the litter.

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Frank: [Huddled around his girlfriend's casket] You were a nasty girl. You saw my nasty car, my nasty food, and you knew I was a nasty boy.

Baby Cakes: [Approaching Frank] It's illegal to be naked—around dead people.

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Baby Cakes: Diaries are usually just a place for people to lie to themselves a little. If she sexed you, she had to like you some.

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Baby Cakes: I both love and hate my dad; that's just the human way.

Characters Appearing

• Baby Cakes
• Crystal
• Frank
• Leonard
• Pony
• Steve
• The Dean

Gallery

Baby Cakes finds a diary...

...of a professor who recently died.

Baby Cakes finds out that Frank had a crush on the unnamed professor.

News about the professor's death circulates around campus.

Hearing the news, Frank becomes heartbroken...

...but remains oblivious to the professor's true feelings.

The staff holds a funeral for the dead professor.

Baby Cakes reveals the professor's hatred for her coworkers—especially Frank.

Reading the diary, Frank becomes enraged.

Baby Cakes finds Frank cuddling the professor's casket...

...and tries to reinvigorate Frank.

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