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"Chinese New Year" is the eighth episode of Season 1 and the eighth episode of China, IL.
When all of the students on campus fail their finals on Christmas, the professors must come up with a plan to re-teach them everything before New Years or risk losing their jobs.
On December 25, it's revealed that all of the students have failed their final exams. While the professors simply laugh at the misfortune, the Mayor angrily arrives, informing the staff that they have until December 31 to remedy this and have the students retake and pass the exam, or the school is shut down by the Governor. Two days later, Leonard and other scientists construct robotic replicas of the professors that will take the place in teaching for them. Later, Frank returns to his apartment and finds that he's been set up on a date with his robotic counterpart by none other than the robot. The two go on recreational activities together, and the following day, Steve discovers that Leonard's plan backfires when the others fall in love with their robotic replicas as well.
On the 29th, Steve implores Pony for her help, seeing that everyone else is too busy with their robot duplicates, and Frank sees his robot self becoming clingy. Ignoring Frank's pleas for help, Steve spends the entirety of December 30 in the library, cramming his head with knowledge that he can pass onto the students. With Pony's help, he masters every subject, and meanwhile, Frank determines that his robot replica is too clingy and tries to leave the abusive relationship. He changes his mind, however, when the robot makes it seem that it's the only one who loves him.
When the final day of the year arrives, an intelligent Steve offers the students a last-minute study session before their retakes, claiming he's mastered every subject. The students agree, and afterward, they enter the testing building to retest. Steve then finds staff members in hiding; they reveal that their robots have become too obsessive with them. Leonard states that he originally programmed the bots to self-destruct as the new year rolls in, unaware that Frank's robot is spying. Moments before the new year, the students are still testing when Frank and the robots ambush the staff, not wanting for the robots to self-destruct. Frank finds a way to keep the robots functional past their original self-destruct time, and on January 1, the Dean finds out that the students passed their exams. Later, as day breaks, the robots are hanged.
- Despite airing as the seventh episode, some sources consider this the eighth one due to it being the eight episode production-wise.
- The title is a reference to the real-world holiday Chinese New Year.
- Jen, who was introduced in the previous episode, can be seen rioting along with her fellow students after they fail all their exams. She removes her shirt to reveal the words "Kill Dean" on her stomach.
- Also in the riot, a student resembling the Grinch appears, and another student burns himself.
- During the riot one student wrote on the Dean's tower, "I can fly, but my grades are falling."
- Donna's face is still torn off after the events of "Prom Face/Off".
- The gifts characters receive:
- This is the only episode to originally air on a Tuesday. The rest of Season 1 aired on Mondays, and all episodes starting with "The Perfect Lecture" aired on Sundays.
- The news channel for which Golden works for in this episode isn't revealed. In episodes before, it's Channel 3, and in episodes after this, it's Channel 8.
- At four minutes and five seconds into the episode, when Frank enters his apartment, it's shown he has letters reading "blood debt" on them, likely a reference to the events of "Baby Boom", when he donated the blood of Steve's Son in exchange for money.
- The Dean: You know, as dean of the school, I gotta admit: F's for Christmas—is fucking hilarious!
- Pony: It does kinda suck that we students failed all our classes. I mean, listen to them down there.
- Baby Cakes: Nah, they sound happy.
- [Outside, the students are rioting.]
- Student: [Lighting a cat on fire] We're not happy! [Throws burning cat at office]
- Frank: Why don't you just gain another chromosome?
- Steve: We just need to work hard—
- Pony: Yes.
- Steve: —on an idea of how not to work hard.
- Pony: No.
- Steve: [Discovering that Frank is dating his robotic counterpart] Who else is fucking their robot?
- [Everyone raises his or her hand.]
- The Dean: Mayor, you're so much bigger than him.
- Baby Cakes: The ball's dropping!
- Crystal: Ten.
- Falgot: Nine.
- Leonard: Eight.
- Sammy: Seven.
- Baby Cakes: Green.
- Spider: Five.
- The Dean: Four.
- The Governor: Meh.
- Steve: Two.
- [The crowd murmurs in disgust when Frank and his robot counterpart stop the ball.]
- Frank: I can't let my other self die!
- Baby Cakes: Let auld acquaintance be forgot, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
Characters Appearing Edit
- Baby Cakes
- Gang Sang
- Golden Bowl
- Stacy Megan
- The Dean
- The Dean's Assistant
- The Governor
- The Mayor
|Pilots||"China, IL: The Funeral" • Unaired Pilot|
|Season 1||"Rewind, Pause, Pay!" • "Dean vs. Mayor" • "Baby Boom" • "Coming Out of the Casket" • "Secret Society" • "Prom Face/Off" • "Frankensteve" • "Chinese New Year" • "Dream Reamer" • "Dean's List"|
|Season 2||"The Perfect Lecture" • "Is College Worth It?" • "Do You Know Who You Look Like?" • "The Diamond Castle" • "Kenny Winker Rules" • "China-Man Begins" • "Total Validation" • "Surfer God" • "Prank Week" • "Wild Hogs"|
|Season 3||"A Gentleman's Bet" • "Best Face Forward" • "Charlize" • "Crow College" • "Bi-Topping-Ality" • "Parent's Day" • "Displays of Manhood" • "Life Coaches" • "Gummie World" • "Magical Pet"|